My grandmother was ushered into the presence of Jesus a week ago Wednesday. She is now pain-free. She is strolling over Heaven with grandpa. I have peace that God took her and it was her time to go home.
However, I am still here. The pain is still real. The ache is still there. I am not sure I will ever stop missing her. When people talk about life getting “back to normal” after they lose a loved one I just don’t understand.
For me, there won’t be a “back to normal”. She is not there. I can’t pick up the phone and call her. I can’t take my sewing project over to her house for advice. I can’t ask her how to do a new crochet stitch. I can’t talk to her about a new recipe or ask her how she cooked something.
For me, there will be moving on to a new “normal”. I will think about her. I will try to remember what her voice sounded like. I will try to remember what she taught me about sewing. I will watch YouTube videos on Crochet to learn a new stitch and think of Nanny. My life will move on. I won’t forget her. Maybe in time, the pain will lessen and I won’t cry so much. By the grace of God, I will go on to a new “normal”.